Помогите, пожалуйста перевести!

Помогите, пожалуйста перевести! Нужен нормальный, хороший перевод, а негугловский! Imagine, for instance, that the porter of the block of flats where you live remarks sharply that you must not put your dustbin out in front of your door before 7,30 am. Should you answer "Please don't bully me", a loud and tire-some argument may follow, and certainly the porter will be proved right. Should you answer, however, with these words: "I repudiate your petulant expostulation," the argument will be closed at once, the porter will be proud of having such a highly cultured man in the block, and from that day onwards you may,if you please, get up at four o'clock in the morning and hang your dustbin out of the window.This whole language business is not at all easy. After spending eight years in this country the other day i was told by a very kind lady,"But why do you complain? You really speak a most excellent accent without the slightest English."И еще вот это предложение переведите: the most successful attempts to put on a highly cultured air have been made on polysyllabic lines. ЗАРАНЕЕ СПАСИБО!